Avoiding the pitfalls of New Year's resolutions, and why they fail.
The age-old tradition of coming up with resolutions for the new year has roots in one of Bickert Management's core principles, perpetual improvement. We are so much in favor of the idea, in fact, that we made it our slogan. And yet, as wide-spread as the idea of these new-year, new-you resolutions are, so to is it seemingly accepted that these resolutions are doomed to failure. The gym is the most obvious example. The first week after New Year's Eve, the weight room and running track will be absolutely packed to capacity with people who have decided it is time to get back into shape. By February, though, I notice that I only see the same faces at the gym that I did before the new year began anyway. So what happened?
Setting a goal, which is what a resolution essentially is, has to be SMART. Only goals that are Specific, Measureable, Attainable, Relevant, and Timed have any chance at succeeding; this is something that even business tycoons, such as Peter Drucker or J.C. Penney, acknowledge. While the specifics of why a goal must encompass all these elements is a topic for another day, the tendency of New Year's goals failing seems to stem from one specific part of the SMART system: Measureable. It is on this part that we will focus.
In reading this article, there are already a few assumptions that you, as the reader, and I, as author, can make. You have the motivation - right now - to make goals and changes that will improve your life for the better. You acknowledge there are aspects of your life or business that are weaker than you would like. You have sought out knowledge on what you need to do to make the changes stick this time, so you are somewhat serious. Congratulations, as you are already several steps in front of the vast majority of resolutioners. That is, unfortunately, where things get difficult. Having the right expectation when beginning the journey is an integral part of ensuring its success, so let's allow ourselves to drop pretenses, and be honest. Change is difficult, uncomfortable, scary, and in some cases, outright painful. Lying or pretending that it isn't gives an excuse down the road (typically around the start of the third week of January) that you weren't prepared, and suddenly dropping the resolution is easy. The reason you must have a Measureable goal is because your motivation will not last, it simply won't. Motivation is a fickle mistress indeed, powerful, but coming at her whim, and often at inopportune times. Discipline, on the other hand, will not fail you if you have cultivated it.
Captializing on the motivation that you have right now, begin to build your discipline to the measurements that you set in your goal. Allow for no excuse to change your course, offset your plans, or redirect your energy. Doing so reinforces the core belief that your goal is worthwhile, which will in turn have you focus more energy on it, producing results, and encouraging you. It is a positive feedback loop that requires an immense up-front investment to get the engine running (so to speak). Once done, however, a habit begins to form, and your discipline becomes second nature, less of a strain on your willpower to execute, and more and more likely to continue.
If your goal is measureable, you will have the exact metrics you need to plot your course and know if you are making progress. Progress is always slow at the beginning, but you have your temporary boost of new-year, new-me motivation to help overcome that. Why then, still, do so many people drop off their resolutions? Shouldn't everyone have the time to cultivate the discipline required to continue pursuing their goals after their motivation has faded? Not exactly. The problem many encounter, in their efforts to take their motivated actions and make them disciplined, is a conflict of values. The best set goal in the world still will never be accomplished if it does not matter to the setter. That is to say, it is fashionable to set New Year's resolutions, but everyone stops talking about them after a few weeks, and suddenly the consequences - both in shame from society or self - drop to near zero. Setting a SMART goal, but setting it for the sake of setting it, is pointless. Why is the gym empty by February? Because most of the people setting their health goals are doing it out of a feeling of obligation; they don't actually care to change themselves, but will be ostracized or shamed by their friends/family/co-workers if they do nothing. It is almost an unspoken social contract that you can get out of by giving a month of half-hearted effort, then retreating to the excuse of "at least I tried."
You are welcome to not bother setting a New Year's resolution. I would, in fact, encourage you not to, if you are not going to bother setting one that you actually care about. Society and friends making fun or poking at you be damned, it is better to at least be honest with yourself and not put on the feigned effort to something you don't care about. You, and likely your bank account, will be happier for having just been up-front and avoided the exercise (no pun intended) in futility in the first place. Perhaps, even, you could resolve to be more honest with yourself, what you are capable of, and what you want to do. This resolution would be an incredibly noble undertaking, as more and more people put on a mask (or several masks) of what they think others want to see. Shed that mask proudly, if you wish to, and forgo setting the resolutions. If you do decide you want to set a resolution, then take the time to resolve to resolve. It is only a resolution and goal if you see value in it, regardless of your motivation to achieve it. The gym and diet you undergo to obtain the body figure you set your goal to be will not last if you actually value a beer with the boys (girls) every Friday night more. There is no shame in having your priorities. The shame is in pretending one priority is higher than another, when it is not. If your resolution is a lower priority, disguised as something high priority, it will inevitably fall off your list of importance to its true place.
The New Year brings many opportunities, challenges, ups, and downs. Rather than starting the year by lying to yourself, take a moment to truly reflect on why you are setting a goal, or coming up with a resolution. Ponder it, and only when you have decided that this undertaking is an actual priority, set your goal. Remember there is no shame in ignoring traditional goals if they aren't actually a priority, and that you would only be wasting time to pretend as such. Once you have resolved to resolve, set your SMART goal, and cultivate the discipline. Capitalize on your motivation, but know it will fade, and when it does, only your dedication to a priority will persist. Understand that it will be difficult, you will likely be surrounded by quitters, and the temptation to give up will be strong. And when, in December 2020, you reflect back on how successful you have been, know that you are embracing the BMI way of perpetual improvement.
To a successful 2020, all the best.